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Living

THE JOURNEY TO SELF-LOVE

It’s high time we all show a little unconditional love to the person in the mirror. Here, we chat with Denise Kenny Byrne and Roxie Nafousi on the importance of self-love and how to find it.

Self-love is a lot like eating healthy or working out, we all know we should do it - but we don’t always know how. Countless studies have proven that it's not the love we get from others that leads to long-term happiness, but the love we get from ourselves. In many ways, the pressure has shifted from finding the love of your life to being the love of your life. However, there’s no one-size-fits-all quick and easy fix. Loving yourself takes work, and sometimes we need a little inspiration and support. And that’s exactly where The Head Plan comes in.

Founded by qualified life coach, Denise Kenny Byrne, The Head Plan was born out of difficult times. Discovering the transformative power of journaling while going through one of the most challenging periods of her life, Denise has used that experience to fuel her passions and now helps others to become the best version of themselves by doing the same. Now, in collaboration with self-development coach, Roxie Nafousi, The Head Plan has launched The Journal, a 12-week step-by-step guide to self-love and empowerment.

SHOP THE JOURNAL

Here, we chat with both Denise Kenny Byrne and Roxie Nafousi on what self-love means to them, the benefits a change in mindset can have and how to begin your self-love journey today.

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DENISE KENNY BYRNE, LIFE COACH & FOUNDER OF THE HEADPLAN

How do you define self-love?

DK: “You are the only person you will always have. Take a second and really let it sink in. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had the same group of friends since childhood, spend 24 hours a day with your other half, or share a deep connection with your work colleagues; the relationship you have with yourself is the most intimate and long-lasting one you’ll ever have. But for many of us, the relationship we have with ourselves is the one we nurture the least. And this is where self-love comes in! For me, self-Love is one of the singular most important things you can do to improve your wellbeing. I define it as honouring yourself and practising things for YOU that bring YOU joy. Things that bring the best version of yourself to the day ahead. Things that allow you to bring the best version of yourself to the people and situations that surround you.”

How big an impact can self-love have on a person’s outlook?

DK: “It’s one of the singular most important things you can do to improve your outlook and wellbeing. Developing our self-love practices, in turn, develops our self-awareness - we are able to see ourselves more clearly, make better decisions, and build our confidence and self-belief; the perfect ingredients for attaining your goals.

Not only that, nurturing a good relationship with yourself will strengthen the relationships you have with others too. Scientific studies suggest that tending to your own needs first adds depth to your interpersonal relationships and enables you to communicate more effectively. The premise is simple: the more you give to yourself, the more you have to give to others.”

When it comes to loving yourself, there is only one question here and that is: are you ready to love yourself?

Denise Kenny Byrne, founder of The Head Plan.

We all encounter setbacks, but how do you help yourself get back on track and feel strong again?

DK: “We all experience setbacks – ALL OF US! I changed my mindset on setbacks and I now think of them as learning experiences. When a setback has occurred, panic not, this obstacle isn’t here to steer you off course, and it certainly isn’t a sign for you to give up on your goals. Rather, it’s an opportunity for self-growth and to achieve more than you ever thought possible. Failing forward means that setbacks are merely stepping stones on your path to success. It’s the process of finding the lesson in every obstacle and adjusting your course as necessary. When you fail forward you are destined to reach your goals, so long as you pick yourself up and try again with your newly gained insight and knowledge.”

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DENISE’S 3-STEP GUIDE TO SELF-LOVE:

1. Journaling: “I don’t say this lightly, journaling has changed my life. I can’t imagine life without it. For me spending time with pen and paper is so empowering. It’s time to reflect, review, process and plan – I am still shocked by how many people I meet that are yet to try the practice, but I am on a mission to convert the world. It’s my number one self-love practice.”

2. Affirmations: “I practice affirmations every single day. I call them my superpower. For those who might not be familiar, an affirmation is a phrase you repeat over and over again until it becomes a belief. It’s a series of empowering words that are designed to seep into your subconscious and influence your thoughts, feelings and actions. The goal is to rewire the limited thoughts and beliefs that are already sitting pretty in your subconscious mind by replacing them with better, more empowering beliefs that have the power to shape your life.”

3. Meditation: “Meditation is a non-negotiable self-love practice for me. I practice every morning and some evenings depending on my day and what I have faced. I became a certified meditation teacher seven months ago and I gained an even deeper understanding of the benefits which are plenty, but from a self-love perspective it gives me time, for me, to become self-aware, it gives me time to practice compassion, gratitude and time to connect with my higher self.”

SHOP THE HEAD PLAN:

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ROXIE NAFOUSI, SELF-DEVELOPMENT COACH AND AUTHOR OF THE JOURNAL

Why is self-love so important?

RN: “The way we experience the world around us depends on what is going on in our internal world. That means that self-love directly impacts how we perceive other people in our lives, how we behave, and how we experience everything that happens in our life. Self-love is also the driving force behind manifesting. The more self-love we have, the better our relationships will be. The more powerfully we manifest, the more willingly we take action and step outside our comfort zone and the less likely we will be to accept anything in our lives that doesn’t make us feel fulfilled, worthy or happy.”

Do you think social media can impact negatively or positively on a person’s sense of wellbeing, and do you have any tips for balancing it?

RN: “It definitely does have negative effects as it can make us falsely believe that we should always be productive, happy, full of energy and looking our best - when that is just completely ridiculous. We have to remember that we are all human, and we fluctuate day-to-day and what we see on Instagram is so often just the highlight reel. But social media also has many benefits because we can use it to inspire, educate and entertain us. Curating your feed is important, I think muting or unfollowing people who make you feel triggered is helpful. Instead, try following accounts that show both the highs and lows of life. By following accounts that inspire you, you gain useful tools to improve your wellbeing and find people to who you can relate to.”

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Why do you think so many of us struggle with not just the idea of loving ourselves but the action too?

RN: “I think the idea of loving ourselves can feel really overwhelming and so we get almost paralysed by that and that leads to inaction. When we realise that actually, we can cultivate self-love just by incorporating really simple practices it becomes a lot easier and a lot more manageable.”

How do you know when it’s time to embrace self-love?

RN: “Well, I’d argue that it is ALWAYS the time to practice self-love! You can never have enough of it.”

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ROXIE’S 3-STEP GUIDE TO SELF-LOVE:

1. Repeating morning mantras such as ‘I am worthy’ or ‘I have always been enough’.
2. Journaling. The Journal’s daily pages are so powerful for cultivating self-love.
3. Making time for daily activities that make me feel good such as exercising and having candlelit baths.

START YOUR JOURNEY TO SELF-LOVE TODAY:

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